No Bad Parts: Managing a Highly Anxious Brain

Managing a High Anxiety Brain

I'm level 1 trained in IFS and when I attend my first IFS conference with Richard Schwartz in 2014 I learned “negative” inner voices have a protective purpose. And as the title illuminates that not even the meanest parts are bad. One of the book’s memorable examples involves a client who battled relentless self-criticism—what Schwartz would call a “manager” part. This critical voice constantly told her she wasn’t good enough, driving her to work extreme hours and second-guess all her decisions.

At first, she just wanted to silence this harsh inner critic. But through IFS, she discovered that it had originally formed in childhood, trying to prevent her from ever making a mistake that would draw her parents’ anger or disappointment. In other words, her inner critic was terrified that if she relaxed her guard, she’d be punished or rejected. Once she recognized that it wasn’t evil or “bad,” but rather a part working overtime to keep her safe from potential hurt, she could finally begin to show it compassion. The shift was profound—her inner critic softened when it felt understood, allowing her to live with more ease and trust in herself.

A Brief Exercise: Meeting Your Own “Manager” Part

1. Get QuietClose your eyes, take a few steady breaths, and scan your body. Notice any tension or discomfort that might be linked to critical or anxious thoughts.

2. Identify the PartThink of a moment recently when you felt a strong critical or protective impulse—maybe you berated yourself for not doing something perfectly, or you felt compelled to over-prepare for every possibility.

3. Give It a Name or ImageMaybe you call it “The Perfectionist,” “The Critic,” or “The Over-Achiever.” If you can, imagine what this part might look like—does it have a shape, a texture, or a color?

4. Get CuriousAsk that part, in your mind: What are you trying to protect me from? or What are you most worried will happen if you let go? Wait a moment and see if any words, images, or sensations bubble up.

5. Offer CompassionLet this part know you hear its concerns. Thank it for working so hard to keep you from harm, even if its methods are sometimes overwhelming. Notice how that simple acknowledgment changes your relationship with it.

Benediction

May you discover that every voice within you, no matter how critical or anxious, is rooted in a desire to keep you safe. May you learn to listen with compassion, welcoming even the toughest parts back into your circle of care. And as you embrace every facet of who you are, may you find the deep sense of wholeness that comes from knowing: there are truly no bad parts.