The Choice: A therapist's reflection on sitting with the yuck

A Reflection

I’ve been running a therapists’ book club for the past four years, and we’ve read everything from psychology classics to kinda meh self-help bestsellers. But nothing—and I mean nothing—has hit me quite like The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger. It’s an autobiography about Edith, who survived the holocaust and navigated healing afterwards, and I swear it will move you in ways you didn’t think a book could.

Dr. Eger was just a teenager when she was deported to Auschwitz. The horrifying experiences she survived would be enough for most of us to shut down forever. But instead, she built a life—a life in psychology, no less—where she chose, day after day, to keep her heart open. One of the wildest scenes in the book is when she asks her therapist to literally sit on her (yes, physically on top of her) so she could safely unleash decades of pent-up rage. I don’t know about you, but that definitely made me do a double take. Like, can you imagine telling your therapist to full-on bodypress you while you scream out years of hidden anger? But Dr. Eger knew what she needed—that sense of containment to release something that massive. It’s the ultimate reminder that emotions need space…or sometimes even a human weight…to safely come out.

An Invitation to Feel

Give this a whirl:

1. Set the Scene: Pick a song—any song that speaks to your mood—and light a candle.

2. Feel It: For the length of that track, give yourself full permission to feel a tough emotion. Anger, sadness, envy—whichever one you usually push away.

3. Close the Chapter: When the song wraps up, blow out the candle and physically exit the space. Next, do something that brings you a tiny spark of joy: take a quick walk, nibble on your favorite chocolate bar, text a friend who never fails to make you laugh—something grounding and positive.

4. Reflect: Notice if bracketing your emotion between a candle flame and a simple pleasure makes the big feeling less intimidating. We’re not trying to make tough emotions disappear—we’re simply letting ourselves know we can handle them…and keep living.

The power of The Choice is how it shows us that healing isn’t some one-and-done event. It’s constant. And sometimes, it might be a little messy or require creative solutions (like telling your therapist, “Please sit on me before I blow a gasket”). But it’s still possible—incredibly possible—to hold our pain, feel it, and grow right alongside it.

Benediction

May you take every feeling, no matter how huge or small, as an invitation to know yourself more deeply.

May you remember it’s okay to ask for the exact kind of help you need—yes, even if it’s “sit on me” status.

And may each step of your healing journey remind you: you are worthy, you are brave, and you’re allowed to take up all the space you need.