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When Breath Becomes Air: A trauma therapist's Reckoning with Life’s Fragility

  • Writer: Kelsey Thomas
    Kelsey Thomas
  • Feb 1
  • 2 min read

I’ll never forget the moment I finished When Breath Becomes Air. Picture in a busy salad shop, people everywhere munching on their kale, while I’m absolutely losing it—tears streaming down my face to the point where a few strangers gave me some real concerned eyes. But I couldn’t help it. This was the first time I’d ever felt so intimately connected to someone facing their own death—someone whose words brought me right into his experience of living while dying.

Book cover: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. Trauma Therapist Minnesota and Oregon

And for those who haven’t read it (heads up—spoiler alert), When Breath Becomes Air is written by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon diagnosed with terminal cancer. Talk about a life turned upside down. His writing is raw, honest, and completely void of “trying to sound profound.” It’s just the realness of someone grappling with the meaning of life when he knows his time is limited.

Reading Paul’s vulnerability let me borrow some of his courage and hold up a mirror to my own life. What would I do if I knew I only had a few months—or even days—left? Suddenly, all that advice about “living each day like it’s your last” seemed a lot less cliché. Which, by the way, is why I heartily recommend this book. Just…maybe not at a public salad joint, unless you’re cool with teary lettuce.


A Brief Exercise: Defining Your Core Values

  1. Center YourselfFind a quiet spot and take three slow, deep breaths. Let your mind settle.

  2. ReflectAsk yourself: “When I look back on my life, which three values do I want to define it?” Perhaps it’s compassion, creativity, or connection.

  3. Write & FeelJot down a short sentence about each value. For instance, “I value compassion because it helps me treat others—and myself—with kindness.”

  4. Action StepNext to each value, note one small step you can take today to honor it. This could be a phone call to a loved one, a moment of mindful listening, or a creative hobby you’ve been postponing.


Benediction

May you find the courage to face life’s fragility head-on, and may it remind you just how precious every breath is.


May you pour your time and energy into what—and who—truly matters to you.


And when life feels overwhelming, may you remember that even a few minutes of honest self-reflection can bring you back to the heartbeat of your own life.


 
 
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